I Was That Sensitive Girl – And That’s Why I Parent Differently
I was that girl who didn’t believe in herself — the sensitive one, the naïve one, the insecure one.
All of those labels? I got them from my parents — and not as compliments.
I grew up hearing things like:
“You’re too sensitive.”
“Stop taking everything to heart.”
“Why are you so insecure?”
My parents weren’t bad people. They were loving. They cared.
They honestly thought that reflecting what they saw in me would help me grow. They wanted me to be stronger, more resilient, more “ready for life.”
But they didn’t realize the harm it was causing.
They didn’t know another way. Their intentions were good, but the result?
It pushed me away.
I didn’t understand what they wanted from me, or how I was supposed to be someone else.
This is who I am. What’s wrong with that?
Why did I feel like I had to apologize for being me?
Instead of building me up, those reflections only made me smaller.
I withdrew. I got even more sensitive. I doubted myself more.
My confidence shrank. My belief in myself faded.
What I’ve Learned as a Mom and Educator
Today, after seven years as a teacher and now a mom myself, I understand something powerful:
If we want our children to grow, thrive, and believe in themselves — we have to reflect the good we see in them.
Not their flaws. Not their struggles. Their strengths.
We must:
- Compliment even the little things
- Focus on their effort and courage
- Celebrate their small wins
Because when our children see that we believe in them — they begin to believe in themselves.
And from there? ✨The sky’s the limit.✨
I created these Positive Affirmation Cards for my daughter to help her believe in herself and recognize all the good inside her.
You can download them for free in my shop and start using them with your child today.
My Daughter and the Power of Positive Reflection
My eldest daughter is 12.
She’s sensitive and has ADHD.
She forgets things I ask her to do. Often.
And no — she’s not doing it on purpose. She’s not lazy. She’s not ignoring me.
She truly forgets.
I used to get frustrated. I’d scold her. I’d say things like: "Why do I have to tell you ten times?", or "Why don't you listen to me?"
But then I got a flashback — to the girl I used to be.
And it hit me:
I was doing to her what I swore I’d never do.
So I changed my approach.
Focusing on Her Light
She has a beautiful voice. She loves to sing.
So I started praising it:
🎶 “You have such a unique tone.”
🎶 “You sing with so much feeling and accuracy.”
And guess what?
She started singing more.
She started dreaming bigger.
She wants to be a professional singer — to sing on the world’s biggest stages.
I support her dream. I remind her that if that what she wants, and works toward it, she'll get there!
Later, we even got her a little mic to practice, and she lit up every time she sang into it
Even Daily Struggles Can Become Moments of Connection
One recurring challenge was getting her into the shower.
Even when she was 7 or 8, it was a struggle. So one day, I turned it into a game:
"Lets see if you can get in the shower in 1 minute!" and I set the timer.
She'd raced against it.
We’d count down the final seconds together, like it was New Year’s Eve. We made it fun. Light. Playful.
I’d cheer and clap like she just scored a goal in the championship game.
It became a small celebration of success, one where she felt proud and capable.
A simple kitchen timer made this game more fun — and helped my daughter feel in control
Today, It Looks a Bit Different — But the Heart Is the Same
Now that she’s older, I give her a little space.
I ask her to shower and wait. If I see she’s still lying on the couch, I remind her gently: "Sweetie, it's rime to shower". If she asks for more time, we agree on how long.
Sometimes she follows through. Sometimes I need to remind her again.
But it’s not a power struggle.
It’s respectful. It’s clear. And it’s based on trust.
Sometimes I even challenge her again with a one-minute timer — and she still rises to it.
Because really — who doesn’t love to prove they can meet a challenge?
Was Changing the Approach Easy? Not at All.
Sometimes, at the end of a long day, when I was exhausted and drained,
I just didn’t have the energy to be the cheerleader or the fun mom.
So I slipped back into my old patterns — the ones I knew didn’t work.
And guess what I got in return?
😤 Resistance.
😣 Frustration.
😢 Tears — sometimes hers, sometimes mine.
That’s when it hit me:
It actually takes less energy to take a deep breath and choose calm than to spend the evening in conflict.
So I reminded myself — it’s worth the extra effort.
It’s worth pausing, breathing deeply, and choosing connection…
So we can both end the day with a smile instead of with tears.
You Can Shift Your Approach, Too
If you’ve used a different parenting style until now — that’s okay.
Don’t beat yourself up. We’re all learning.
No one is handed a manual for raising kids.
Let’s be honest: parenting is the most complex, emotional, and rewarding job in the world.
And your child — your relationship with them — is worth everything.
It's never too late to choose a new approach. You can start today!
Want to Connect?
If you have questions, ideas, or want to chat — I’d love to hear from you.
📧 Email me at: The Inspired Fairy
🪄 Final Reminder
Shine the spotlight on the positive — and start watching the miracles unfold.
The Inspired Fairy 🧚♀️
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